Filed under: Comedy, NBA, Sports | Tags: Bill Simmons, Chris Webber, Darko Milicic, David Kahn, GM, idiot, Manna from Heaven
Bill Simmons favourite NBA GM David Kahn got live on NBA TV this past weekend, joining Matt Winter and C Webb for some Summer League play-by-play during a T-Wolves game. He managed to blast off some gems, saying the T-Wolves will be better because now they eat lunch together and have a swank player’s lounge all while comparing Darko Milicic to Vlade Divac and Chris Webber… which caused C Webb to lose it just a little bit. He also called Darko “manna from heaven”, which is really weird, completly wrong and maybe the most unintentionally gay phrase ever uttered by an NBA GM.
When is the Sports Guy going to be offered the NBA GM job he rightfully deserves? Even if he’s just a basketball guru and sports reporter, do people really think he’d be worse than David Kahn?
Filed under: Athletes F'ing Up, Comedy, NBA, Sports | Tags: ESPY's, Lebron James, Miami Heat, Paul Rudd, spoof, Steve Carell, The Decision
Hahaha, Michael Scott is the man. “The Decision” was one of the biggest jokes I have ever seen and perhaps one of the worst PR disaster’s ever for an athlete (besides Tiger Woods getting his chiclets knocked around by angry Elin) so when I heard Steve Carell and Paul Rudd had spoofed King James and Jim Gray at the ESPY’s I had to check it out. And it did not disappoint. I’ve never even been to an Outback steakhouse but I think I’m gonna have to check it out someday just because of this.
Lakers three-peat in 2011!
Filed under: Comedy, NHL, Olympics, Sports | Tags: Bobby Ryan, Canada vs. USA, Gold vs. Silver, NHL Awards, Ryan Getzlaf
In case you missed it, last night was the NHL Awards. I didn’t watch, even though Jay Mohr was hosting, mostly because hockey doesn’t belong on my TV after April. And let’s be honest, the NHL Awards aren’t appointment television. However, I’m always up for Canadians getting digs in on Americans, so when R&S favourite Lauren G hipped me to this YouTube gem I had to share.
Bobby Ryan: “Dude are you using my medal as a coaster?”
Ryan Getzlaf: “Oh this is your medal? Sorry I didn’t recognize it.. it wasn’t gold.”
Awesome.
Filed under: Comedy, Sports, World Cup | Tags: All Blacks, All Whites, Black Caps, Black Cocks, Black Sticks, New Zealand, New Zealand Rocks, Tall Blacks
New Zealand, like Australia, is a sporting mad country. They support all of their popular sports with near universal passion, especially in rugby, cricket and soccer. Not only do they excel at sport but they also excel at sporting nicknames. New Zealand athletics is littered with amazing team names: All Blacks, All Whites, Tall Blacks, Black Caps etc.. And while the Kiwis are regarded as the world’s preeminent rugby playing nation and are showing amazing form at the 2010 FIFA World Cup, they are so much more than just All Blacks and All Whites. Let R&S explain…
Men’s National Rugby Team: The All Blacks
The All Blacks are NZ’s most famous sporting export. For over 100 years, the All Blacks have been terrorizing other rugby playing nations with their distinct brand of ferocious and flowing rugby. They perform the intimidating Maori haka before every game and have some of the baddest ass black jerseys the sporting world has ever known. The team started wearing all black jerseys while on their first Northern Hemisphere tour in 1905 and have worn the menacing kit ever since. Since rugby is New Zealand’s national sport and the team has a long tradition of success, the All Blacks have become as synonymous with New Zealand as Lord of the Rings.
Note: The national wheelchair rugby team is called the Wheel Blacks.
Men’s National Soccer (Football) Team: The All Whites
Relative soccer minnows, New Zealand qualified for the 2010 World Cup after a 28 year absence and have been the most impressive Oceanic team so far, earning two draws in their first two matches. The grand stage of a World Cup, along with some shocking success, has been huge exposure for the All Whites, who are looking to advance to the Round of 16 for the first time. Their All White nickname actually came about the last time they were in a World Cup, back in 1982. They wore an all white kit for their qualifying match against Taiwan and the obvious play on the All Blacks nickname was born. The nickname becomes hilarious when you consider the ethnic make-up of the All Blacks and All Whites.
Note: The All Whites don’t do the haka before games, mostly because it’s not as intimidating when a bunch of skinny, white soccer players do it.
Men’s National Basketball Team: The Tall Blacks
In New Zealand, everybody wants to be media and marketing darlings like the All Blacks, so the national basketball team decided to get clever and put their own spin on the All Blacks moniker: The Tall Blacks. While not known for their basketball, New Zealand did finish 4th at the 2002 FIBA World Championships (where the Tall Blacks beat Russia, Puerto Rico and China) and they recently defeated Australia in Oceanic qualifying for the 2010 World Championships in Turkey.
Note: The only New Zealander in the NBA is “The Kiwi Highlight Machine” Sean Marks.
National Badminton Team: The Black Cocks
By this point you have probably begun to understand the New Zealand sporting nomenclature. They love the All Blacks and any sort of variation on their famous nickname. So when New Zealand Badminton was struggling for a piece of the sporting limelight they decided to get provocative. Black Racquets? Too obvious. Black Birdies? Too cute. Black Cocks? Perfect.
Seriously, they officially referred to their national badminton team as the Black Cocks! How amazing is that? The International Badminton Federation didn’t appreciate the name, especially when the condom sponsorships began rolling in, and now the team is only “unofficially” known as the Black Cocks. But it definitely lead to some excellent headlines while it lasted.
Note: Get your very own Black Cocks t-shirt here.
Other Great NZ Nicknames: The Ice Blacks (ice hockey), The Black Sticks (field hockey), The Black Ferns (women’s rugby), The Black Caps (cricket), The Iron Blacks (American football), The Black Sox (softball)
Filed under: Comedy, Movies, NBA, Playoffs, Sports | Tags: Chevy Chase, Chick Hearn rap, Fletch, Kareem vs. Bruce Lee, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA Finals
Standing 6’5″ (6’9″ with the afro), even Kareem and Chick Hearn had to give it up to the amazing Fletch. Click the jersey above to see Fletch in action.
Now let’s hope the Lakers can harness their inner Fletch and take out the Celtics in tonight’s Game 7.
Filed under: Comedy, Hip-hop, Music, NBA, Playoffs, Sports | Tags: basketball, K.O.B.E., Kazaam, KB24, Kobe Bryant, Kurtis Blow, NBA Finals, Shaq-Fu, Tyra Banks
The NBA Finals start tonight and naturally R&S is picking the Lakers to win in 6. Kobe has just been too much this postseason, and with Lebron’s epic playoff flame-out’s the past couple seasons KB24 is making a strong case that he is still the best basketball player in the universe. And while his skills on the hardwood can’t be questioned, his skills on the mic sure can. For those that don’t know (or programmed their brains to forget), Kobe once thought he could be a rapper like his big brother Shaq. So he decided to cut a track with Tyra Banks and the audio proof is found above. Good thing Kobe stuck with working on eviscerating opposing SG’s and not sharpening his cipher skills because his mic-manship actually makes Shaq sound more like Big Daddy Kane than Kazaam.
Now that your ears have been scarred by the Mamba, cleanse your sonic palette with the best rap song about basketball ever (and the first rap music video)… Kurtis Blow’s “Basketball”.
Filed under: Comedy, Music, NBA, Sports | Tags: Chicago Bulls, Cleveland, Free Agency, LBJ, Lebron James, New York Knicks, We Are Lebron, We Are The World
Now that the city of Cleveland is on defcon-5 red alert with the prospect of Lebron James bolting to Chicago or New York this summer, they are pulling out all the stops to convince LBJ to stay. Check out this remake of “We Are The World” using local Cleveland “celebrities”.
I must say, if this video is showcasing the cream of Cleveland’s cultural crop and I was Lebron I would pull a Carlos Boozer/Art Modell and sneak out of Cleveland in the middle of the night. Or I’d pull an Ichiro and punch myself in the face.
Filed under: Comedy, Television | Tags: Breaking News, funny, JR Furniture, local commercial, Vancouver
Was watching the Cavs-Celtics game tonight when this local marketing masterpiece came on. I didn’t think it would be on YouTube but it was… with a whopping 49 views. This commercial is amazing.
There is even a Punjabi version!
Filed under: Comedy, NBA, Playoffs, Sick Highlights, Sports | Tags: Cleveland Cavaliers, dunk, funny, Mike Brown, Mo Williams, Paul Pierce, post-game press conference
This has to be one of the best NBA coaching sound-bites in recent memory. During last nights Game 1 in the Cavs – Celtics series, Mo Williams threw down a nasty fast break dunk on Paul Pierce. I wasn’t aware that Mo could even jam, but the dunk itself was eclipsed by his coach’s post game reaction. When asked about the play, Mike Brown completely lost his marbles. Classic.
Filed under: Boxing, Comedy, Sports | Tags: cannoli, Daily Line, Mike Tyson, Tea with Tyson
Video via Hot Clicks
Check this great video of Mike Tyson having breakfast with some dude I’ve never seen before. This is hilarious. My favourite was Mike’s take on canoli’s:
“I hate cannoli’s… they’re like a curse to me… I’ve had experiences with them and have had engagements with them and it didn’t turn out pretty nice.”
Epic.
Mike Tyson is the man. He is misunderstood by so many people but every time I see him in something where he’s just being himself he is always extremely likable. Seems like a genuinely good dude who was dealt a really tough hand in life. And if this video was shot recently, it appears Mike has got himself into better shape. He was starting to get pretty massive.
Filed under: Comedy, NBA, Sports | Tags: Dwight Howard, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, NWO, Orlando Magic, Ultimate Warrior, WWF
Now I will preface this blog post by stating that I have a soft spot in my heart for people who dress up like classic WWF wrestlers. My greatest Halloween endeavor was in 1998, when my three roommates and I dressed up as the NWO and entered the party to “Voodoo Child“. But these four fine gentlemen have taken their WWF love to the next level.
All four have their persona’s down pretty good, although the two highlights for me were Ultimate Warrior and X-Pac. Perfect. At first glance, I thought the one dude actually was X-Pac. They stay in character for the whole time and it all comes together to form maybe the finest two minute testimony to Dwight Howard that exists.
Thank God for Hulk Hogan, beer, digital cameras, the NBA and YouTube.
Filed under: Canada, Comedy, NBA, Olympics, Sports | Tags: most ridiculous man in the world, Opening Ceremonies, Steve Nash, Vitamin Water
Another great viral video from Nash and the folks at Vitamin Water. Hilarious stuff, especially his Canadian Tuxedo. This is way better than Dos Equis guy…
I’d also like to say it was great seeing Steve Nash as one of the final torchbearer’s at last night’s Opening Ceremonies. He is one of the greatest Canadian athletes ever and deserved the honour.
Filed under: Comedy, Television | Tags: Living with Disabilities, PunchDub, Stevie Wonder, Super Bowl Commercial, Tracy Morgan, Volkswagon
In one of the best Super Bowl spots from this past weekend, VW unveiled their take on the classic road trip game “Red punch-buggy, no returns”. It is pretty much standard fare until the end, when cameos from Tracy Morgan and the legendary Stevie Wonder kick it up a notch. A red VW drives by and Stevie gives Tracy a good punch. Laughs and jokes ensue. But after I watched the commercial, I noticed a link to another video, purporting to know how Stevie saw the red VW. I had to watch.
No, Stevie didn’t get bionic eyes. He actually uses a device that he can touch up against objects and it will tell him what color that object is. He even touches it to a car and it blurts out “red”. Pretty cool stuff.
Working to improve the lives of those with disabilities is one of Stevie’s greatest crusades and makes him so much more than just a legendary, one-of-a-kind artist. You can read more about one of our greatest philanthropists and his work as a UN Messenger of Peace here.
Filed under: Comedy, NFL, Sports, Television | Tags: Best QB Ever, commercials, MVP, NFL, Peyton Manning, Super Bowl
With the Super Bowl mere hours away, I have decided to go a little Nostradamas and predict that Peyton Manning will lead the Colts to their second Super Bowl in four years. I know, it’s not exactly picking Buster Douglas to knock out Iron Mike, but how could you ever bet against the laser, rocket arm of #18?
And on this holiest day of commercials, doesn’t it make karmic sense that the football player who holds the all-time record for commercial appearances elevates his game to another level in hopes of a coveted Disneyworld spot and a new deal to replace Tiger Woods in those stupid Gillette ads with Roger Federer and Derek Jeter? I think so.
In honour of Peyton’s inevitable Super Bowl MVP, Rhymin & Stealin takes a look at the Top 5 Peyton Manning Commercials:
5) Gatorade – “Peyton Manning Action Toy”
This one is worth it just for the awesome ’80s style cartoon action song. “Playing all day, yeeeaah!”. This probably isn’t the 5th best Peyton commercial, but I didn’t want the list to just be MasterCard and Sprint ads. This can claim the fifth spot almost on wackiness alone.
4) ESPN – “Peyton picking on Eli”
Peyton and Eli are commercial gold when together (see #3 on this list). The look they both give Archie when he shoots them a disapproving glance and Peyton’s final heel kick make this a gem, especially when you can tell Peyton really kicked Eli good. That’s the type of commercial realism that can only happen when you cast actual siblings.
3) Oreo – “Mannings vs. Trumps”
Eli is back, and the Super Manning Bros. are joined by The Donald and his doppleganger, Darrell Hammond in a battle of the DSRL (Double Stuff Racing League). This is one of the funniest Manning commercials, with Peyton busting out some classic one-liners (and getting hit with a great “Johnny Touchdown” blast from Hammond). I lost it when I first heard Peyton growl “How’s that feel… Donnie?”. This commercial is hot off the press and it shows that #18 is not losing any comedic steam.
2) Sprint – “Laser Rocket Arm”
The wig and the fake moustcahe would have been enough. But the line “If you like 6’5″, 230 lbs. quarterback’s with a laser, rocket arm” is pure gold. An absolute classic.
Sprint also had another cool Peyton commercial, “Manning’s Mind”.
1) MasterCard – “Supporting Your Team”
Most of Peyton’s best commercial work has been for MasterCard. He had his Priceless Pep Talks, World MasterCard and a myriad of other Priceless gems. But the “Supporting Your Team” series are the best. The squeal of the barista and Peyton telling him to “rub some dirt on it”, along with Peyton’s encouragement to the movers (“They’re not yelling ‘Boo’, they’re yelling ‘Moo-vers’”) launch this into the pantheon of great athlete commercials. View the two other commercials in this series here and here.
Filed under: Comedy, NCAA, Sports | Tags: Danger Zone, Hockey, Nanooks, Polar Bear, pre game intro, Top Gun, UAF, University of Alaska-Fairbanks
Wow. This is the pregame scoreboard introduction used by the University of Alaska-Fairbanks Nanooks hockey team for the 2009-10 season. It is absolutely, undeniably, and definitively the greatest pre-game video I have ever seen for any sport. Let me count the ways of awesomeness:
- The MJ Bulls pregame music during the “giant polar bear breaks free from glacier with lightning eyes” scene
- The two handed clap that produces the magic hockey stick, which is promptly used to split the doomed “Seawolf”
- The Top Gun “Danger Zone” scene where the bears bomb The U, Ohio State and Michigan State
- The bombing of a volcano (which triggers the destruction of Earth)
- The bear’s weird journey through space, time and some sort of portal to arrive, on ice, at the Carlson Center
- A devastating slap shot by the bear that explodes the friggin’ net and triggers “Enter Sandman”
Incredible. This is a 6-tool pre-game video. 6 incredible elements, working together in animated harmony. Big big ups to the UAF for this one. It was produced and edited by Mike Martinez and the visual effects were done up by HiFi 3D.
And if you were wondering why the team is called the Nanooks but are represented by a Polar Bear, the answer is right here.
Thanks to Koots for this one. Incredible find.
Filed under: Comedy, Hip-hop, Music, Television | Tags: DJ Pauly D, Dorrough, Ice Cream Paint Job, Jersey Shore Guys Dancing, JWoww, Ronnie, The SItuation, Vinnie
I will be the first to admit that I love the Jersey Shore. Can’t miss television. Check this video of the Jersey Shore proto-guidos, Vinnie, DJ Pauly D, Ronnie and The Situation, getting their gangsta groove on while dancing and Jerzing out to some terrible rap music courtesy of some cat named Dorrough. Much like the show, it’s hard to look away. And don’t forget about JWoww.
Is it just me, but are Ronnie and Vinnie both genuinely funny guys?
Filed under: Comedy, Movies, Television | Tags: Arnold Schwarzenegger Commercials, Great Wall of China, Japanese Commercial, Tommy Lee Jones
I had no idea that TLJ was such an accomplished builder. Also good to see he can still get paying work after “Man of the House“.
Spotted at BoingBoing
But seriously, is there any type of commercial better than a Japanese celebrity commercial? I think not.
Exhibit A: Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Filed under: Comedy, Music, NFL, Sports | Tags: DJ Steve Porter, Funniest Web Videos, NFL Coaches Remix, NFL Playoffs
Steve Porter, the maestro behind countless YouTube remixes, has outdone himself with this absolute gem. This is one of the best videos I have ever seen. Jim Mora (Colts and Saints), Ditka, Bobby Ross, Jim Fassell, Buddy Ryan, Bill Parcells, Dennis Green, Mike Singletary and, of course, Herm Edwards all make an appearance, lending their legendary rants and press conferences to a funky song. I hate AutoTune as much as the next guy, but it adds an extra layer of hilarity to this track. I can’t pinpoint a favourite part, but the Mora Saints “You Don’t Know”, Buddy Ryan and Bobby Ross all had me losing my mind. This is bound to go into my Hall of YouTube Legends, along with Home Shopping Network Ladder Fail, Prison Inmate Thriller, and Lions vs. Buffaloes vs. Crocodiles.
I’ve watched this 4 times in a row. It’s so good.
Filed under: Comedy, NBA, Sports | Tags: Don Nelson, drunk, New Year's Eve
Rhymin & Stealin and Don Nelson wish all of you a safe, happy and drunk New Year’s!
photo from Takin Out Larry’s and Drunk Athlete.
Filed under: Comedy, NBA, Sports | Tags: All-Star Game, highlights, lowlights, Steve Nash, Vote for Steve Nash, voting
Some NBA players feel they have to pimp themselves out to make an all-star game, posturing for votes and cluttering the Internet with videos, websites and tweets begging people to vote them in to the season’s biggest exhibition game. Steve Nash, as usual, has decided to take a different approach. Instead of compiling clips of his various highlights (of which their are many), Steve went with some low-lights, using his self-deprecating humour to poke a little fun at all-star grandstanding.
Love the clip at the end, with him getting dunked on by Kobe repeatedly. How many NBA players would post a similar highlight on their own site? Not many. Nash is the truth.
Filed under: Athletes F'ing Up, Comedy, Music, Sports | Tags: cheater, funny, remix, slow jams, Tiger Woods, voice mail
Hahahaha. This remix is up there with the David After Dentist remix and Bill O’Reilly remix. Let the torrent of Tiger Woods parodies continue indefinitely.
Thanks to Lauren G for the hookup.
Filed under: Comedy, Kicks, NBA, Sports, Television | Tags: commercials, Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, MVP, MVPuppets, Nike, We're back
Nike has brought back their hilarious Kobe and Lebron puppets, no doubt dreaming of a Cavs-Lakers Finals that would cause Phil Knight’s head to explode.
“I got two words for you: King of the Jungle.”
And for those scoring at home, Kobe is leading the MVP race this year, looking to reclaim it from LBJ. If Kobe keeps hitting insane buzzer beaters and Lebron keeps losing to the Grizz, the Black Mamba will be adding to his trophy case this offseason.
Filed under: Comedy, NBA, Sports | Tags: broken kneecap, cornrows, Greg Oden, injury, Shane Battier, weird head
I was hit with an instant bout of serendipity this morning as I was reading more about the unfortunate injury to Portland Trail Blazers big man Bill Walton, Sam Bowie, Greg Oden. I noticed that one particular picture of a downed Oden appeared to show his kneecap in complete collapse mode, resembling a moon crater. The voyeur in me decided to zoom in for a closer look when I was met with a secondary discovery of mildly epic proportions. Greg Oden might be the only NBA player with built-in cornrows.
Look at the top of his dome, it looks part Shar Pei, part Klingon. This phenomenon has occurred before, with Shane Battier and Al Harrington being two prime examples. But they have nothing on Oden. He has supreme definition and maximum length, making his natural cornrows the envy of every Allen Iverson, Latrell Sprewell and Brad Miller wanna-be in the NBA.
If I was Greg and I was looking at another six to eight months of rehab, I’d contemplate growing out a little ‘fro before someone comes around looking to make a topographic map of my head.
Can’t basketball fans in the Pacific Northwest catch a break? Oden down for the year and Kevin Durant playing like an MVP for the Zombie Sonics. Double gut punch.
